Category: Friendship Calls

John was referred to us in October. This was his assessment;

‘Suffers with Mental health, aggression, anxiety and depression. Tinkers in scrap metal, enjoys fishing. Does get really down and can get tearful on the phone, may also swear but this is only in desperation because of the depression, I found him to be a very open and honest young man, he also does have an addiction to Cannabis, would like a male volunteer as he says it will horrify him if he swore and there was a lady on the end of the phone’.

John was placed with Ras, and they have now built up a really good relationship on the phone with John really opening up to Ras and sharing everything he is going through. John has informed me that he really does enjoy the calls as it given him something to really look forward to because of everything he is going through. Here are a couple of report backs from Ras’s notes;

‘John was a bit down as he had been to the hospital with his ‘ex-missus” who is expecting a baby (she is 20 weeks pregnant). Looks like there may be a problem and she will have to go to Sheffield for a baby scan (some issue with the brain). John is trying to stay positive – and keeping focused on supporting his ex-missus during this difficult time. ‘

John had just got up and had his ex-missus (she is called Nicky) and the kids round. The eldest one is 9 today. He is still sleeping in a tent outside (he tells me that it is a 4-man tent) but he is okay as he has an electric heater plugged into the extension and also has plenty of warm bedding! Nicky has an appointment at the hospital next week for another scan and check on the baby – and John thinks she is having a check every 2 weeks to monitor the pregnancy.

Susan applied to become a Connex volunteer. She is a young mum of two young daughters and lives on her own. She also suffers with anxiety and depression. When I received the application, I had an initial discussion on the phone with her, and arranged to meet her in town for a coffee to discuss the role in more detail going forward.

When Susan arrived, she was so nervous and unsure, as she has never worked, nor done anything much in her life except raise her children. She was unsure about the role and how the meeting would progress. We rapidly put her at her ease and explained in detail how the project would work. She was very happy with the outcome. I followed up with her that afternoon to see how she was and as we had established at the meeting she was also a council tenant.

My thought was that before we placed her with an individual to support under Connex, she attends some of our events to increase her confidence. She attended our buffet lunch, and spend the afternoon chatting to those at her table. She was laughing and engaging, and even took some snacks home to her daughters. I followed up with another call that afternoon and this was what she said

‘Thanks you so much for giving me this opportunity and for all of your support. You cannot understand what this means to me, I am now so excited to start volunteering under Connex and would also love to volunteer at events.’

When asked how many participants she would like to support under Connex, she said ‘4’. Which really surprised me, and when I asked why, she said ‘in the sort time that I have been with Rotherfed, the support that had been given, had made me so happy, I now feel that I can give so much to others, and give something back to Rotherfed as well’

Susan will also in the new year be willing to attend HIP and Scrutiny meetings, but has said that she would not like to do the friendship calls, as she doesn’t like speaking on the phone.

Tammy is one of our amazing volunteers who joined us in November 2020, Tammy lives in London but enquired about the position as she wanted to do something but couldn’t find anything suitable near her. As the opportunity was for Telephone Befriending we agreed she could take on the role.

Tammy originally made 5 calls a week to participants often laughing about her accent, it quickly became apparent that Tammy had a knack for engaging with those that seemed at the offset to be sceptical about the scheme. She really had a way of getting some of our older independent ladies to take advice and seek local advice when needed, she even managed to convince a stubborn lady to accept carers into her home to assist her, when nobody else could.

Tammy has been talking to June, a very independent 91 year old for a few months. June really looks forward to the calls despite initially saying she wasn’t bothered and she had nothing to say to anyone. June has numerous health complaints, which puts an enormous amount of stress on her daughter as June will not accept outside help, or have an operation for her cataracts or other medical conditions!

Tammy called me one morning really concerned about June, she hadn’t been able to speak with her for a while but managed to speak to her daughter that morning. It transpires that June had been in hospital, had to have blood transfusions and has now been discharged home.

Tammy said the last time she spoke to Martha she advised her to speak to her daughter and to ring the GP or go to hospital as she had a medical problem that she was keeping to herself, thankfully this is advice she took and she told her daughter that Tammy had said she should seek medical advice.

When Tammy called her this morning (she was still concerned as she hadn’t answered the phone previously), her daughter picked up, June was unable to get to the phone because she was in bed and her daughter didn’t know what to do for the best. She told Tammy that June had been discharged from hospital without a care plan or medical advice, and she didn’t know what to do.

Tammy called me and I called Alison at social prescribing to see if anything could be done. To cut a long story short , thanks to our wonderful volunteer and swift action from Alison, rapid response will now be in place to help June at home , her daughter gets the respite she needs knowing June will be cared for.

Our volunteer is still calling June for updates, unfortunately due to her being in bed she is not able to answer the phone but Tammy calls intermittently and if her daughter or the careers pick up she passes a message to June to let her know we are thinking of her and that she hopes they get to speak again soon.

Louise was referred to us back in June 2021. When she was assessed, she was in a really dark place, she had been estranged from her son, her daughter had long covid, and relations were strained. She told me about her marriage and the abuse she had suffered at the hands of her ex-husband. Her oral was extremely low and she struggled to engage in conversation as she did not trust anyone, she had also recently lost her dad, to whom she was very close. She was extremely lonely and socially isolated. There had been some suicide attempts as well. She was also waiting for a knee operation and had to lose weight to enable this to go ahead. Louise was placed with the same two volunteers and her confidence really started to increase.

When Connex was mentioned to her, and it was established that she was also a council tenant, she was invited to attend our first Tenant Voice coffee morning. It was dubious whether she was actually come along. However, on the day, she did, she arrived at the venue and just stood in the doorway extremely frightened.

She was met by Jane and made to feel welcome, Mary, our chair also spend time talking with her and she really opened up to us both. After the event, she was then contacted by Jane to see if she was okay and that she had enjoyed the morning, she could not thank me enough and advised that she would really love to come along to the buffet lunch. I am happy to say that she did come along, and thoroughly enjoyed herself and spent the afternoon talking with other volunteers and staff and again, on leaving, was so proud of what she had achieved, and said how this was now making a massive difference to her life, as she now has something to really look forward to. She is continuing to receive her calls and will continue to attend our events.

Rachel first spoke to Sally back in September 2020 through the friendship calls programme. In her referral notes it said she was a victim of domestic violence. When I spoke to Sally she told me she felt very emotional, lonely and depressed. Her parents and children live down South and she has no family or friends in Rotherham. She moved to Rotherham to be with her partner (this is the violent partner), she no longer has any contact with him.   

Sally told me that would like to meet new people and start working again, even if it’s just a few hours a week.  However, since the domestic abuse she has lost all confidence in herself and has low self-esteem. Sally also suffers from bipolar disorder and has done since 2012. During our 50-minute conversation Sally became very upset on several occasions. 

A year on and Sally is like a different person. We have kept in touch on a regular basis over the past year and it is amazing to see the difference in her. In the early days of meeting Sally, she started to attend the craft and welling being sessions at The Thurcroft Hub which she really enjoyed. From there she has volunteered at the Social Supermarket, joined a running club and got involved with a few local activities too. More recently Sally attended our Tenant Coffee morning at Springwell Gardens, this was the first time I had actually met her in person which was lovely. Sally thoroughly enjoyed the coffee morning and from that she has filled in the forms to become a volunteer with RotherFed, she has also attended a council meeting and plans to attend another one later this month. Sally has also agreed to help me at a couple of events in Thurcroft in November. I am looking forward to working with Sally and seeing her progress even more than she as done already.

Quote from the Tenant Coffee Morning:

“It was so good to finally meet you in person today and your colleagues, what a lovely bunch. I can honestly say I haven’t laughed like that, except with my old friends, since I’ve lived up here.  Thank you for all being so welcoming to me.  Volunteer forms being filled in as we speak xxx”.

Steven was referred to us back in October last year. He is out on probation after committing assault again another man. He has been trying to get his life back on track, and in the interim has been struck with medical problems. The conversations between the volunteer and Steven are always so positive and he is very open and honest with his dialogue.

Sophia is an Asian lady who began making calls for us back in November last year. She was a very nervous individual who had extreme anxiety due to her previous marriage situation and ostracisation from her Asian community. She blossomed making the calls and was doing very well. It was after few months that her husband contracted Covid and she had to step back into the role as wife. This created a very anxious situation for her and she decided after having some mental health first aid from her coordinator, to take some time out. After some time, she then decided to resume her volunteer role. She was allocated a lovely lady that she was very happy to support, and also decided to enrol herself on some mental health training. After further discussion, she has also decided to become a Rotherfed Connex volunteer, which is a massive step forward for her. We invited her to attend our TPAS presentation Award.

Milly was originally referred to us back in March. She has long standing Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder and has no confidence. Milly did not go out much previous to getting the friendship call, does not watch TV and just passes her time on her tablet. She has a 14 year old daughter that she only see on a Sunday. Milly is obese and is under a psychologist. Milly has been trying to lose weight to qualify for bariatric surgery. As she does not speak to anyone – except her professional team, she has built up a fantastic relationship with her volunteer – here are a couple of feedback from the volunteer outlining the conversations of the past two week.

Another positive chat with Milly. She talked at length about the work she is doing with her psychologist, and although she finds talking about some aspects of her past difficult she has continued to engage in the therapy and to complete the homework she sometimes is asked to do. We chatted about her diet and the target she needs to reach by the 28th of this month to ensure she will be accepted for bariatric surgery. Apart from the occasional setback she remains focused. Milly spoke about having some time out for herself today and had visited a store she likes in Sheffield and treated herself to a couple of items. She said this had lifted her mood. We chatted about the Covid vaccination programme and Milly is keen to have a booster. She talked about her daughter who is 14 years old and has recently had Covid, Milly is encouraging her to get vaccinated when she is able to do so. We talked about the area where Milly lives as I know it well and about local craft groups that Milly attends. Further contact arranged towards the end of next week

Brief chat with Milly today, she talked initially about her recent appointment with psychologist and then about the approaching appointment with a doctor in the Bariatric Service when a decision will be made re the surgery. Milly had managed to lose a little weight this past week but is still a couple of pounds off her target and is starting to worry about this. We talked about her coping strategies and about using the support available to her particularly if the outcome of her appointment with the Bariatric service is negative. Milly has requested I contact her next Thursday afternoon, the day after her appointment.

Tina is a young student who has been calling participant Mandy since December 2020 they have built up a real friendship over the months talking weekly without fail. Mandy has many health and social problems but never fails to have a weekly laugh with Tina. Tina in turn has helped and supported Mandy through many things, getting her assistance with pension applications and pointing her in the right direction for help. Tina has now departed for university but will stay in touch with Mandy to let her know how she is getting on (with Tina’s consent).

Mandy said “I loved my weekly chats with Tina, we had a laugh and Tina really helped by listening to my worries, I will miss her calls. I wish I could have adopted her!”

Friendship across the generations, no barriers. Mandy is now looking forward to her chats with a new volunteer and hopes to have the same sort of blooming friendship.