Author: Laura

Neville was originally referred to us back in August 2021. Neville lives on his own, and his wife is very poorly in a care home. Neville has been receiving friendship calls from two volunteers – Jonathan and Julie who alternate calling Neville. Neville has reported that he finds this service very invaluable as it eases the loneliness when he cannot go and see his wife. Neville enjoys watching sports and loves anything that can challenge his mind like dominoes. As restrictions have now eased, Neville has mentioned to Julie that he would love to be able to get out and about a bit more and meet new people. Julie has agreed to pick him up and bring him to a coffee morning being hosted by Rotherfed on 9^th February, He is really looking forward to this, but has said that he will still very much like to continue with the calls as they break up a very lonely week.

Clarrisa is a lovely chatty lady who is quite new to the calls. She was referred to us via Social Prescribing. Upon assessment it became quite apparent that she was very apprehensive about receiving the calls. Further investigation revealed that Clarrisa has had a very tough life and is of ill health herself. On saying this she is so resilient and the reason she was unsure about the calls was due to the fact that she had always been the carer and didn’t know how she was going to cope with the shoe being on the other foot so to speak?

Clarrisa was a foster carer to a disabled youngster and spent much of her life caring for her, she also volunteered and supported others when-ever she could.

Clarrisa has been having the calls for just short of 2 months now, she speaks with regular volunteers and has already built up a fantastic rapport with them. It’s not easy for her but our volunteers know how to get the best out of the recipients and in this case it was about finding things in common. We think the friendships here will go from strength to strength and Clarrisa will slowly accept that this isn’t about giving in and asking for help it’s about enhancing what you have.

Juliet lives on her own and likes working in the Garden when the weather is good. Although she is an upbeat lady she does struggle with loneliness. She has family but they only ever call. Juliet is living with mental illness and has been diagnosed with OCD.
Covid has left her more alone and isolated. Juliet came to Connex via an internal referral as she was receiving befriending calls. During the calls it was often discussed about Juliet’s desire to get out and about again but many factors were working against her and she really didn’t think she could attend an event in a group environment.
We had some events coming up, so called Juliet to see if she would like to attend, she was interested but still very apprehensive. She had only been to bingo which was a familiar routine from pre-lockdown, a new event was a big challenge and as much as she wanted to go, it was a massive step for her to go. Conversations continued and then when an event was organised at a venue that Juliet was familiar with, not far from her home address, Juliet agreed to attend. One of our volunteers who speaks regularly with Juliet said she would meet her at the event, so they could meet face to face and put a face to a name. This was the factor that swung it for Juliet and she was determined to put her fears aside and attend.
Juliet now attends events on a regular basis, often meeting the volunteer there. Watching them catch up is amazing, they are in their own world and chat away like long lost friends. During one of our more recent events Juliet also got talking to one of our community staff members, she was saying that the energy crisis was causing her major worries and that she didn’t know what to do. This has led to her being referred for energy advice, our community staff explained the process and that she would get help, you could see the fear disappear in that moment.
Juliet is still living with mental illness but due to Connex and other interventions she is feeling so much more positive, is able to go out more and is feeling so much less isolated, long may it continue.

Paul was originally referred to the friendship calls by the council in April 2020 and was the first call recipient. Paul used to work down the Rawmarsh pit and enjoys fishing, watching TV, especially history programmes. He started isolating in the first lockdown and found this very difficult to deal with. He was paired with his first volunteer in May 2020 and had received calls from a number of different volunteers during the first months. In July, he was permanently paired with his current volunteer Tony, and they have really built up a close friendship and are still talking to each other weekly today. This is what Paul had to say;

‘I could not have got through this pandemic without the calls that I receive every week, it really gives me something to look forward to and break up the loneliness in the week, thanks to Tony and RotherFed for this – you have no idea what it means to me’.

Lily was referred to us by the council in April 2020 during the first lockdown. Lily lived with her husband Peter and suffered from anxiety and depression. Lily also had some clinical issues and problems with her heart. Lily was placed with our board member Mary who has continued to support Lily throughout her time on the friendship calls and a very special relation had built up between them. Sadly, Lily had recently passed away, however Mary spoke with her husband Peter, and as Peter and Lily had been married for over 60 years, Peter found life very lonely, and Mary offered to continue to call Peter going forward. This was agreed and Peter will now receive regular calls from Mary during his time of bereavement and for however long he needs the calls.

Rachel was originally referred to RotherFed for friendship calls by Rotherham Council in July 2020. Despite numerous attempts to engage with her, this was unsuccessful, and she was closed to the service. In August 2020 Rachel was re-referred for the friendship calls and again would not engage. When she was referred for the second time, it was established from the referrer that Rachel would not engage at all with any services in Rotherham and that this was an ongoing issue. She had not taken her meds, and had been discharged from mental health and counselling due to non attendance for meetings and appointments.

When Jane started with RotherFed, she picked up Rachel’s case, and started to call her at the end of September 2020. At first, Rachel would not engage as she did not trust any services as she felt ‘let down’ due to consistent staff changes etc. This was down to not taking her meds which helped with her anxieties, she self-harmed, had suicidal thoughts and suffered with the results of abuse and Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.

As time went on, her confidence started to grow as Jane was consistent in her calls using a set time every week so that Rachel knew that she would no longer be let down. Over the months, a strong relationship ship of trust was forged.

Rachel started to engage again with services, and paid for her own private counselling, Although Rachel will not go out on her own for social purposes, she did catch a train to Leeds and Sheffield for medical appointments as this is something that she did have to do. This was extremely stressful, and she did need a lot of support prior. But she did manage to do it. She also enrolled on a mental health course, which she has now nearly finished.

When Connex was started in September 2021, Jane asked Rachel if she would like to attend a coffee morning. Rachel declined as her confidence was not yet at a level of being able to go out in a social situation. From September until November, this confidence was worked on and in December 2021, Rachel attended her first social outing in many years. Although this was extremely difficult for her, and it took a lot of gentle persuasion, she managed it and post event discussions have now highlighted that this is something that Rachel would regularly like to do. In time, the aim is to support Rachel to attend events on her own, but this in itself is a massive step forward for Rachel and has now given her hope for the future.